The spirit of a Great Heart…

Posted on July 12, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

As an African, there is a saying: “I was not born in Africa… Africa was born in me”. I know that no matter where we are from, we each feel a huge affinity for the land of our birth, but for those in whom Africa was born, it does not seem to ever diminish with time or distance. As far away as we may live across the seas, and as long as we might have been away from her, Africa beats inside us like a drum.

Some unique things and memories stir us up – sports, wildlife, the taste of her unique foods, scenery, sunsets, the broadness of an African smile.

And her music. Ah, her music. Mbaqanga, Isicathamiya, they all call our hearts home whenever those strident bass lines and soaring voices, and the body rippling rhythms, are heard. It is deeply soulful and stridently stirring.

Perhaps one of our great icons growing up in South Africa, was Johnny Clegg, and his bands Juluka (it means “Sweat”), and later Savuka (“We are awakened”). Those of us who are far from our Africa resonate with his song “Scatterlings of Africa”, for that is who, and what, we are. He wrote another song, some lyrics of which I want to share with you as a prelude to a short musing on leadership. From a song called “Great Heart”

Every man has to be his own saviour
I know I can make it on my own if I try
But I’m searching for a Great Heart to stand me by
Underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by…

Perhaps my standards are impossibly high… you tell me. I believe that every person who stands in leadership or who finds themselves, by whatever path, in the public eye and regarded as an icon, or an example, has a responsibility to be “a Great Heart”.

What is a great heart? A great heart is an inspiration, a thing to hunger after, and to emulate. As a member of a team, it is hugely reassuring to be led by a great heart. One whose morals, convictions, passions, vision and values are so deep they are an anchor, and a North Star, for everyone in the team.

Great hearts are hard to find. They are jewels, a surprising rich find, in the dusty clay of most organisational cultures. Jewels are not formed in surface mud and spring rains, and they do not emerge from the earth cut and polished. It’s a tired analogy but its true… Jewels are forged. Crushed by an inexorable weight, seared by incredible heat, a jewel is beautiful precisely because of the time and effort that has gone into its creation, and the rarity that accompanies that.

A great heart, truly, is a jewel. In my career in HR, I have worked for many leaders. And I have met many more leaders. I have probably, as an HR Manager and consultant, been intimately related to about eighty or one hundred, over time. In all that time, I am comfortable in saying that I have worked for only two “great hearts”. A man called “HCJ”, and a man called “TPA”. (Not their real initials.)

Let me say that at this stage of my career, if I were to look for another job, I would only look for a job where I could work with a great hearted person. Life is too short to work for any other kind of person. I would interview themas much as they interviewed me, and ask questions that showed me their heart. Because a leader always reveals their heart when they lead.

“HCJ” is – was – my first real manager. Much older than me. When I met him, he was already cut and polished. Quiet, articulate, and loyal. Visionary, firm and exceptionally capable. He has a real connection with his teams, and we went willingly – and often – into battle for him. We would travel far, make huge commitments, achieve impossible goals. In my first 6 months on the job, he personally took the heat for all my many failings as I figured out what an HR Manager did and then how I was supposed to do it. Many times my naïve failures cost him credibility, but he stood by me as I grew in the role and learned how to be his right hand man. And then his patient and faithful investment in me paid off and I began to enhance his credibility through my work.

“TPA” is a very different person. Younger than me and full of fire and passion. He grabs the future and drags it into the present. Absolutely at peace with who he is, he is a work in progress and proud of it. Not content just to have a dream, he forges it and makes it real. Equal parts sure-footed and tentative; bold and cautious, demanding and considerate. As much as he is open to being refined by the fires of leadership, he expects no less from those around him. And there is a resilience to his relationships, an ability to cross swords, challenge and debate in both directions. He is somewhat of an enigma to me, but he is also deeply familiar.

That’s the thing with great hearts. They are instantly recognisable. And they are thrilling to be near.

Find a great heart, to stand you by. And BE a great heart, to stand others by.

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My Christianity and Gay Marriage

Posted on June 28, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

What the Supreme Court has said (and this is only important to us because the world seems to follow America’s lead) is that the right to marry anyone, is institutionalised as fair and just in terms of the law of the land (of America). It has no bearing on Christianity, and no bearing on Christians. Unless, of course, Christians need the protection and the endorsement of their government. And can only find this in a government that espouses and embraces Christian values.

Christianity, as I understand it, is a fringe movement. We are not supposed to be the government of the day. We are not supposed to be popular. We are not supposed to be “trendy”. Christianity is by all accounts, a faith for those willing to stand up and be counted as loving people regardless of what those people do or believe. Stand up and be counted as looking past what people do, to who they are. Stand up and be counted as seeing people through Gods eyes, as precious and sacred and beautiful.

Its natural, if one is raised in a Christianity that is afraid of diversity, and seeks to judge it and obliterate it, that the Supreme Court decision in America regarding marriage equality will cause a huge “disturbance in the Force”. It seems that Christianity – Christians, actually – have a choice to make. I have not painted my Facebook profile rainbow colours, but this decision does not disturb me as it does some.

I don’t care if gays get married or not. I don’t care if the government embraces it or not. (and when I say I don’t care, I don’t mean “I don’t give a damn”. I mean it’s not relevant to my world. I do care, in that I can imagine that finding happiness in this hard world is tough enough already, and people who are different to me should be free to find whatever form of happiness they can. Right or wrong is an absolute fact which will be declared one day, and not by me) I care if we as believers can love them or not. I care if we can look indiscriminately with eyes of love on everyone. Sexual behaviour around the world has always been and will always be, different to how the Bible says it should be. Nobody appointed the church – or Christians – as judge, jury and executioner. We are appointed to be witnesses, examples, and beacons of hope.

Our opinions on these matters are pointless. And arrogant. What we believe is for us and our community to share. For those outside our community, our opinions is irrelevant at best, usually hurtful, and at worst bigoted and hateful. We are not meant to be bigoted or hateful. We are meant to be full of love, peace, and joy. Patient, and kind people. Good, faithful, gentle, and self controlled. And the Bible is very clear that humility is a God-like quality, so that can be included here too…

It is not my – or our – responsibility to try and change people, or to tell them that they are right or wrong. Only to love them because of their value to God. The same reason we love other Christians, and our own family. Because they are precious to the Most High and He has given them to us. And through loving them to increase the chances that they will view God differently, and seek Him out, because of the example we set.

To all my gay friends and colleagues. Congratulations on your changed circumstances. May you find happiness and joy. But lets face it, marriage is no guarantee of joy, or happiness, or eternal bliss. Christians and non-Christians alike are getting divorced at equal rates – 60% or so. Marriage is hard, and living with someone so intimately, whether they are the same gender as you or not, is one heck of a challenge.

I can safely guarantee that marriage will not be the place you find joy or eternal bliss. You may find equality there, but that will probably be about all.

Posted in Personal Growth, Spiritual | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Integrity

Posted on April 21, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

Had a very interesting discussion yesterday about values, specifically “integrity”. This morning, an article in my email feed talked about Integrity being the number 1 corporate value.

But what, actually, is a value? I have found that this is often a very misunderstood thing, especially in the corporate sense. A value, from Webster’s has many definitions but the two most relevant are: “relative worth or importance; something intrinsically valuable, or desirable”

Not very helpful when considering “corporate values” or even “personal values”…

Let me offer an idea around the definition of “value” in this context. Esoteric definitions are very unhelpful, and I find it easier to create practical definitions that everyone can grab hold of in the context of their own experience. For me, then, “values” are the beliefs or things, that when the chips are all down, when we are staring destruction eyeball to eyeball and we are the ones likely to blink; that we do not let go of. Ever.

A story is told of a cold war raid by the KGB on an underground church in Russia. Apparently, a squad of KGB soldiers burst in and said that all Christians would be shot, and that anybody who wanted to live should leave. When various people had chosen to leave the room, and the rest were standing there waiting to die, the troops put down their guns and said, “Right, now that the impostors have left, lets have a church meeting”.

The modern equivalent, sadly, is the beheading of Christians by ISIS, when they do not recant in the face of inevitable and ruthless barabarism

More examples – It’s the whistle-blower who risks everything to reveal truth. It’s the rescuer who risks his or her life saving a child from a river. It’s the truck driver who steers his burning petrol tanker through a town to empty ground, so that no bystanders are at risk. It’s the doctor who admits their error instead of hiding behind their professional veil.

These people are living, and potentially dying for a set of values or beliefs they hold more dear than ANYTHING.

Integrity is easy to define. Webster’s says it is “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; an unimpaired condition; the quality or state of being complete or undivided”. Again, lets simplify that with a re-definition: Integrity is when your beliefs and your actions line up completely, all the time, regardless of the consequences”

It gets interesting in the corporate world, because an organisation is not a “person”. It cannot have values that are intrinsic to itself. It can only have values attributed to it by others – usually chosen by the leadership team to reflect what they believe are the best representation of the drivers of corporate success. So, in a real sense, corporate values are commercial tools. That is not a bad thing; it is just how it is. But that does mean that whatever the values are, they are chosen because it is believed that they will benefit the bottom line. For that reason, sadly, corporate values can be malleable depending the impact on the bottom line. It is always surprising, and deeply satisfying to discover a workplace where that is not the case. Those leaders, are inspiring.

In reality corporate values are usually artificial, and many times poorly understood. Why do I say artificial? Because an organisation is made up of individuals, who all have their own set of values that they will stick to when their personal chips are down and they are staring personal destruction eyeball to eyeball. And those values are often fairly divergent to the organisation’s values! So what we have, largely, is an act, a role-play during the working day; that people do in order to get along smoothly and be “the right fit” for their employer.

It gets really sad when the corporate values are the act, when they are put on for show, or for commercial gain but are not practiced internally.

I remember a company having its core value of integrity, and an owner/director asking me to forge the date on a letter that he needed. I remember a company saying “our people are our greatest asset” and the directors manipulating the bottom line to save on bonuses. I remember a company publicising that it stood against corruption, and then re-hiring its corrupt CEO when he finished his jail time. (If I said its name you would know it.)

These are challenging situations. Personal integrity and corporate integrity are not necessarily the same thing. It is fantastic if they are – like that CEO in the news recently who cut his salary by over 90% and reduced profits, so he could pay his employees a fair wage. Excellent, noteworthy stuff. But all too rare. Mostly things run along smoothly and no one worries about these deeper questions, until a real challenge arrives that requires people to choose between their personal values and their publicly espoused corporate values.

The challenge arises because we hire for the easy things, and we manage for the easy things and we discipline or terminate for the easy things. Skills, talents, performance, behaviour. Challenging values is a very difficult thing, because everyone is entitled to their own values. But what happens when corporate values and personal values are in conflict/ What then?

It isn’t always obvious. Often values-based behaviour we don’t like is excused because of the individual’s exceptional performance, for example. In this case, clearly, the commercial imperative trumps the values imperative.

Lets look at Jeremy Clarkson as a clear example of someone, who in hindsight, has not so different values to his employer. His value seems to be “me, myself and I” “I deserve a meal at 22h00 and I will punch the guy who says otherwise”. And the BBC? They did the right thing in terminating his Top Gear contract, but did they continue to do the right thing in offering him another show almost immediately? Probably not. It’s the same employer, with the same stated values, but opposing actions one week later. Actually the BBC was demonstrating “me, myself and I” values as well – how can we minimise the damage we just caused ourselves? Lets bring popular Jeremy back to earn us more advertising and syndication revenue”.

Integrity is when there is consistently no difference between our values and our behaviour, whether we are a corporate, or an individual.

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The Dragon called “Me”…

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

I have written this series using the allegory of a sailor sailing rough seas, and encountering Dragons, as depicted on those old nautical maps where the untraveled cartographer needed an excuse for his cluelessness; and I have offered thoughts about the ways to defeat those Dragons using the analogies of recognisable weaponry that might have existed in an age of Dragons.

I have had fun finding titles for this series (the “Dragonslayer” Series!) and have enjoyed the personal exploration it has afforded me. I have been challenged, as I wrote it, that perhaps I have not always exemplified the ideal I have sought to describe; that I might have contributed to some issues and I have luckily also been able to look back at my own conduct and say at times: “Not too bad, old chap. Not too bad.”

However, as I said, perfection is not possible in this world, and it is good to reflect also on some personal characteristics that can have a positive outcome on workplace dynamics. I would like to encourage firstly myself, but also all of us guardians of culture and/or leadership development, to seek excellence in a few core areas and to be able to set an example. These are not obviously corporate, and they do not have the fingerprints of motivational speakers or HR guru’s all over them. There are enough blogs and bloggers rushing off to do that on every new wave of thinking and buzzword that pops up. This is me and my thoughts, and it is personal. But I humbly hope it is helpful.

A little reflection may offer ways in which these characteristics can hugely advance our cause as HR Practitioners. These characteristics are not only good for us, they are generally regarded as good universally, so perhaps we can effectively contribute in some way towards a better corporate culture through our own excellence in these areas.

…Humility

This also assists with objectivity, and sometimes with defusing conflict; unfortunately it is often poorly understood. It is not false humility – which is pretending to be of lesser significance or value than one really is. True humility is having a right view of ourselves. It is correctly seeing our strengths and weaknesses, not being defensive, not being aggressive – or establishing worth out of comparison. Surefooted. An example. If Bill Gates says “I am the richest man in the world” he is simply being factual, and the statement and the heart behind it could as easily be very humble, as it could be proud. Perhaps he is not measuring his worth by his bank account; perhaps he is honestly commenting on his unparalleled ability to serve others with his unparalleled wealth? He is seeing his situation rightly. Often the interpretation we arrive at is a result of our own bias.

Humility means we receive input and find the personal growth areas in every situation regardless of how unpleasant the message is or how much we struggle with the messenger (Marriage and the workplace are a good workout for this skill 🙂 ). We must never miss an opportunity to be better today than we were yesterday.

Humility means we make our case kindly and without bringing others down. We do not win through victory, we win through better relationships. This is not always an easy one, as it means sometimes deferring the short term quick-fix for the longer, higher road.

…Grace

Grace is the ability to extend undeserved goodwill. The power of grace is that it is counterintuitive and surprising. It disarms. It releases. Offers. Opens. Smiles. And honours the potential in others to be better, without coldly exacting punishment for current shortcomings.

It is covering over another’s mistakes, sometimes just because. It is forgiving, when everyone around you would regard “tit-for-tat” vengefulness as a completely reasonable response. And surprisingly, we are often least gracious with ourselves. We need to be gentle and kind to ourselves, especially when we feel the weight of responsibility or perhaps of failure. We need to stop being our own worst critic and see our situation rightly.

But grace can also – and sometimes must – come to an end. Recently I came to the point where I had covered over another person’s issues too much, and it had become counterproductive and even manipulative because of the perceived freedom from consequences. I was being pushed into a corner. Things needed to be exposed, and of course, when they were, the proverbial then hit the propeller. This leads us to…

…Integrity

This is always worth pursuing to the death. We should never give up our integrity for any reason, ever. Especially not for a short term victory. Integrity doesn’t just mean truth. It means consistently aligned behaviour. Truth is fundamental to integrity, but it is only the first part. Our words and behaviour; our motives and our intentions, need to align consistently over time. Integrity is built and maintained long term, not overnight. However, like trust, it can be lost in an instant.

Integrity is also about the high road. Consistently aligned negative behaviour does not equal integrity. That is more like sociopathy…

When we speak difficult things, or call people to account for challenging and unpopular issues, integrity is our surest foundation. No lies. No deliberate misinterpretations. No half truths, no stretching of interpretations. Just strong, solid ground underfoot.

…Words

Words have power. Great power. To build up or to bring down, to unify or to divide. To hurt or to heal. To bring justice, or to perpetuate injustice. We use words in emails, in conversations, everywhere. We underestimate both their power in the moment, and their longevity in the hearts and minds of all who hear them.

When my son was 3, he got bullied at Kindy by an older bigger kid, and I said to him if he could not find an adult, it was OK to defend himself and hit back. I have never been allowed to forget that comment, especially when he perceives a upcoming threat from his siblings, and decides that Daddy’s words from 2 years ago make it ok to “hit them back first”. No matter what I do or say, it seems I cannot shake those words, buried deep in his sense of right and wrong.

We, do not have the latitude to be loose with our words. No manager does, but for the CEO and the HR practitioner, the requirement to be circumspect, wise and considered is paramount. We ALWAYS represent the employer, even if we have no intention of doing so. If our corporate email signature is at the bottom of the email; if it comes from a company server or is on a company letterhead, we are representing the employer and we need to have our game on.

…Vision and Influence

We need to see beyond the now, beyond the tumult of the moment to the bigger, longer term picture. That is particularly taxing at times, because it can easily and often mean we subvert the comfort of a quick victory now for a longer, harder but more honourable outcome. Letting go of comfort is a vision thing. It is realising the need for temporary discomfort, and that means understanding the “why”. Often that turns into uncomfortable, or stretching advice given to our managers, which they may even resent us for.

So be it. If we understand the ER risks correctly, and if we can see the corporate trend accurately, then taking a stand for what is best for the company, even if – especially if – it is not popular, is always the right thing to do. As long as truth and integrity are not compromised.

We need to see far ahead, and be able to communicate what we see. That is the role of the influencer. And we need a track record of balance, of wisdom, of selfless integrity so when we make a big ask of our team, they know from whom it comes. We should not ask of others what we have not already asked – and delivered – of ourselves. If we ourselves cannot subjugate the comfortable options in favour of long term benefit, we cannot really ask others to do it…

When we measure up in these areas, we can stand in confidence that as bad as the winds might get, and as rough as the seas may be, we are at peace with our work and its consequences, and we have done right by ourselves and by those who trust our expertise. Its a good place to be.

And those Dragons? Well, if we have beaten the one living inside us, the rest are easy pickings.

Happy Dragon-slaying!

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The Dragon called Vindication and the Helmet of Humility

Posted on February 3, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

As colours go, black and white are very simple. Put next to each other, there is no confusing anything. This one, white. That one, black. And here is the line between them. Very nice, very organised. Very good.

People aren’t like that. And situations aren’t like that. But, intrinsically we would like them to be. It just seems to clear things up. It’s really distracting, and exhausting to realise that in all the earth, there is not one truly bad person, or one truly good person. Those absolutes are reserved for another world.

We are all floating somewhere in between on the scale from Abhorrent to Awesome. And, unfortunately for our “Black and White” sensibilities, so is that person we have just had a run-in with. And, spectacularly, so is the person THEY just had a run-in with (us!). It’s all perception. All through tainted glasses. All somewhere in between correct and incorrect. All quite grey, in fact…

So, there we are, in our workplaces. It’s the aftermath of an altercation, a dispute, a run-in, a confrontation. We both had things to say, and we both said them. There was a process, there was a decision, and now we have to live with it. But we both know the decision wasn’t as much in our favour as it should have been. Of course it wasn’t. They got away with murder, they did. And it’s not right.

We need vindication. We need to make sure, just one last time, that we were in the right, and they were in the wrong, and we deserved the victory. Maybe we can steal a glance at them when they are looking at us and shoot a dagger or two from our eyes. And look away so we can plead innocence if they call us on it. Better still, what about completely isolating them so they feel awkward around us? Maybe we can even subtly make them feel excluded from groups of people, to situations where they could attend, so that they feel the weight of our disapproval.

There are a million ways we can play that game, depending on our authority levels, our social circles, our verbal ability, our manipulative ability etc. somehow, there is always a way to exert control over that person.

Ah, yes, Vindication. A good feeling.

Or not.

Vindication is a Dragon, and it is only defeated by the warrior wearing the Helmet of Humility.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a vindication that is perfectly fine. But it is not a vindication engineered by ourselves as we internally celebrate victory and jostle again for social supremacy in the aftermath. Legitimate vindication comes from being found to be in the right. It is the decision of another, communicated by another, and it is understood by all parties. The end. It’s over and we move on.

Vindication that comes from personal effort and one-upmanship is not vindication. It is bullying, plain and simple. It is oppressing the vulnerable and the defeated, crowing over their misfortune and enjoying too much, the sense of victory.

Someone who has not been vindicated in a conflict is highly sensitive and vulnerable. They are at a low point, very tender and embarrassed even, and may feel that they are in an extremely weak position in the organisation. And that may be true. But it is not anyone’s place to enhance those feelings and to deepen their difficulty. Especially not the victor’s.

Or, if it is attempted by the “loser” as a means of coping with their loss of face, it can be just as bad or even worse. Because it will be even more surreptitious and underhanded, now that the company’s official position is clear, and not in their favour. This kind of informal “vindication” is intended to socially invert the official position, to create a world where the company’s official decision is “known” to be misguided and incorrect and where pity and support are offered to the victim of misfortune.

I am painting these situations in bold and clear language. Most of them are far more subtle than that and it might even be hard to put a finger on the situation. This Dragon is a beast, and like the Dragon called “politics”, it manifests subversively and not in the open. It perpetuates injustice in the name of justice, and unfairness in the name of fairness. It elongates and extends division between teams and individuals, and bifurcates a workplace that could, just as easily, become more unified. This is a culture killer.

It is defeated only by humility. Winning graciously and losing with dignity.

“For what does it gain a man, if he wins the entire world, but loses his soul?”

In the aftermath of confrontation, there are still battles to be won. The battle for relationships, for dignity, for kindness and for restoration. For a better workplace culture and enhanced collaboration. These battles can still be lost. And if they are lost, then I have a question for you – “Was the original battle ever, really, won?”

Humility by the victor says “Enough”. I have enough victory. You have enough defeat. We have had enough of this confrontation. It says “tomorrow is a new day”. Humility brings graciousness to the victory that heals wounds quickly and removes the need for retaliatory actions in defense of lost dignity. Because, in a confrontation resolved graciously, the only loss is an intellectual one. A decision made as to what was correct and not correct. There are no human casualties in a gracious victory.

Grace in victory gives dignity to the one who lost. And with dignity intact, any person can be restored. Any relationship can be restored. Any wound healed. No collateral damage.

Humility says I will fight fair. I will contend for the truth and stick to the issues concerned. If I lose, I lose with dignity and if I win, I will win with grace.

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The Dragon called Desperation and the Dagger of Discernment

Posted on February 2, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

It was hard to find an apt name for the Dragon this time, but not hard to recognize the feelings it evokes when it stirs.

Conflict in the workplace – conflict anywhere, in fact – evokes an age old response. The adrenalin surges and we feel many possible emotions – fear, passion, fright, anger, defensiveness, self-righteousness, and many more possibilities. Adrenalin serves a pretty useful purpose (carrying on the analogy) if you are a sword carrying combatant, dependent on quick reactions and physical strength for victory, but I think it serves far less useful a purpose if you are my kind of warrior – the keyboard-bashing sedentary soldier of HR…

Nonetheless, it is an ever present companion in times of stress and we in HR have a few of those. As mentioned in my initial post, often, we are not just observers or facilitators of other’s disputes; sometimes, we are at the centre and it is our career, our reputation on the line. That kind of pressure can bring out the best, or the worst, in us. It is good, therefore to work on the discipline of confrontation, or combat, as best illustrated in that beautiful film, “The Last Samurai” (That movie is so full of extraordinary leadership lessons, I am now inspired to write more on that another day!)

But for now, we are on that Japanese hillside where a Western prisoner named Algren (Tom Cruise) is learning to fight with a katana; amongst many, many other simultaneous cultural lessons he is learning. He is obviously the student and he is being taunted by some taking bets on his next failure, and is being brutally beaten by his teacher. (It’s a wooden training sword so he cops a few blows here and there without actually dying) Nobutada, another Samurai who is watching comes to him and offers advice, saying humbly “Please forgive. Too many mind… Mind the sword, mind the people watch, mind the enemy… too many mind. No mind”

It’s about focus. Algren was trying to learn a new skill, with a new weapon, and he was getting hurt. He was under pressure to protect himself and had no idea where the next blow was coming from. He was trained for distance warfare, with a gun, not for “kill or be killed” close quarters combat against a more skilled opponent. The rush of inputs was too much for him. The solution, which he did not learn straight away, was focus. Figuring out what was important, and attending to that.

So here we are, far away from that Japanese hillside, in our modern day workplace, and we are dealing with so much. We have so many roles that we are juggling, and all are important. Excellence in all of them is what we want to achieve, but excellence in just a few of them is becoming devastatingly urgent. We can easily give in to the onslaught of inputs and demands for priority. Not knowing where to turn first, we can become stressed and unclear in our thinking. “Too many mind.” We need to stop, step back, and be deliberate about what we pay attention to.

The Dragon is called Desperation, and the weapon we want is the Dagger of Discernment.

The dagger is a two edged close quarters combat weapon, designed to be the “knife” in a knife-fight. Primarily, almost exclusively, it is an offensive weapon. (Interestingly, the sword, which many see as purely an attacking weapon, is unique amongst all weapons because it is in fact equally as much a defensive weapon, as it is a weapon of attack.) But the dagger is razor-sharp, light and fast, made for the gap in another’s defenses, to slide between shield and body, between armour and clothing, and do its damage by precision and skill.

These words equally describe the ability to discern.

Discernment is “to distinguish mentally, recognize as distinct or different; to discriminate” It is the ability to know, from tens of inputs and options, and hundreds of things to do, what is truly important. And equally, what is not. And what is not important, is perhaps the most important thing to see.

Every situation is different but as HR Practitioners we need a broad set of principles with which we can accurately analyse and discern what our priorities must be. These may be shockingly obvious, but they are not so easy to implement in practice. My personal discernment principles are as follows, and I am open to suggestions of what might be better. The come from the words of someone I greatly respect – he said (paraphrased) that in becoming the absolute best we can be, we need to place Character before Calling, and Community before Comfort. In the workplace, therefore, these have served me well so far:

  1. The truth and being true to our values comes first.
  2. The Company’s best interests come second.
  3. The sustaining and future viability of workplace relationships comes third.
  4. I, come fourth.

Recently I was faced with a situation where a white lie could have got me out of a sticky situation. No one is perfect, and I had just proved that. But I had an “out” – if I wanted to, I could blame someone else. Or could I, really? Given what I openly stood for, and my role in the company, I had to choose what the best example was to set. Because I value the truth, and the company values a “no-blame” culture, it was easy. I told the truth, and of course had to deal with the disapproval. This is a personal choice I will always make, but it turned out to be the best move anyway, because the truth always has a way of coming out…

What about a situation where the company’s risk profile is being compromised. A ER risk could be developing slowly that could easily compromise the employer. The safest option for us could be to just avoid the tangly, sticky mess of challenging the difficult manager, who is creating the risk. We could plead ignorance, or not push very hard, and eventually, the company would face a very high risk and potential damages for allowing an easily fixable situation to decompose into a horrible mess. What do we do? We should, of course, risk our own peace and workplace harmony to make sure this situation is dealt with.

But how do we do that? Do we go over their head, expose their weakness, get our own way at any cost? Win the power game of who is right and who is not right? We are relationship builders, so the next priority kicks in. We do it, so that come what may, we do not compromise working relationships. We fight fair and we fight for the best possible outcome for all the people concerned. I have been on the receiving end of the “fight unfair to win at all costs” system, where my weaknesses have been noted and gossiped about, and where people have been trying to get leverage against me.

It has been a privilege to find the high road, and walk it. To not gossip, not undermine, not Bcc people, and not weaken company relationships to protect myself. Looking back, it is an awesome feeling to have stood firm for healthy relationships even at the expense of a quick victory. To have acted so that redemption and restoration are always possible and achieving it will not be compromised by an ego battle in the office. Its not always possible, this is true. Sometimes, a relationship is compromised by the higher priority of truth or employer protection. And the other person’s response is always out of our control. But we try not to…

And finally, where we can honour truth, where we can achieve safety and a healthy risk profile for our employer, where we can protect and preserve future relationships all around me, then we can worry about us. Because, in truth, our reputation and our integrity are bound up in the other three, so when we look after them, we are already looking after us. Just not selfishly.

For me, any other order is a failure of company and personal values.

My workplace Dagger of Discernment (I have others) has these 4 things etched deeply into the blade. Truth. My employer. Relationships. Self.

I would suggest that any CEO would trust us confidently if we demonstrate these priorities. They will rely on us to hold true to them, because they are the foundation of the culture every employer should want to build.

The Dragon is Desperation, and the fear of the personal cost to us. The weapon that will defeat it is the Dagger of Discernment.

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The Dragon called “Politics” and the Scabbard of Sincerity

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

A scabbard is the sheath for a sword. Made out of shaped wood and leather and worked metal, they are beautiful and functional, but play a lesser role to their glorious partner the sword. There is a legend, though that one particular scabbard was equally, or perhaps even more valuable, that the mighty sword it contained.

Excalibur was Arthur’s sword, and the weight of legend is focused on it. However, while it assured victory, it was said that Excalibur’s scabbard prevented the wearer from suffering any wound in combat. As I see it, if I cannot be wounded in combat, I can pretty much win any fight I am in, with nothing more than a toothpick! I’ll take the scabbard any day!

In any workplace there are politics, and it must be distinguished at the outset that there are two main kinds of politics. One is positive, and the other negative. Positive politics are to be encouraged and welcomed in the workplace. Negative politics are to be eradicated.

Positive politics are those that add value to and enhance the workplace. They are about relationships – supportive, affirming and positive relationships. Yes, they can be about power, and yes, they can be about achieving recognition and acquiring allies in the office. These things are not bad in and of themselves. Power, like money, is neither good nor bad; it is simply a means to an end. How it is USED is what determines good or bad.

Positive politics are about competence. Excellence. Adding value. We want to be significant in an office so we add value and become significant through good relationships that enhance others. We build their success and synergize not only for our own gain but for theirs too. We give, and spend, and invest, in others and in the success of their projects. The result is trust, sincerity and community. People who give because giving is returned with interest without keeping score. People share because there is enough to go around. Give away credit for ideas and successes, because there is no need to hoard it at the expense of others. Success breeds success, and there is enough for everyone. It’s a world of abundance.

Who lives in a workplace – or a team – like this?

Negative politics is what we commonly call “politics” It has a bad rap, and it deserves it. Negative politics, however, isn’t called that, because it wants to be hidden, and secret, and it doesn’t like being called out and exposed. It doesn’t want to be known at all; it just wants to work in the background and achieve its ends without even being known to exist. Its power lies in secrecy.

A person cultivates a relationship with a power figure, not based in excellence, but in convenience, or in juicy knowledge acquired and shared. They could also be setting someone up to fail, by the same method. The idea is ascendancy through manipulative control.

Gossip, rumour, manipulation, half-truths and innuendo are key tools in the power-monger’s arsenal. It’s about moving emotions around, aligning them secretly in a particular direction, and facts, of course, just get in the way. Innuendo, is far preferred. It lets imaginings take root and get stirred up, shifting loyalties around by casting shadows where shadows should not be.

The Dragon is Politics, and the weapon that defeats it, slowly but surely, is the Scabbard of Sincerity.

The sword does not work, because there is no direct target. The shield does not offer protection, because there is no direct attack. The scabbard is worn by the soldier in battle, and is always by his side. It is part of his clothing, his armour. You cannot wield a sword in battle, unless it is first carried to that battle, in its scabbard. Like the Scabbard of Excalibur, it is a weapon and a source of protection by its mere presence, not by it being brandished about.

So, we have a workplace full of negative politics. Someone behind the scenes is directing behaviours and emotions, and other people are responding to that persons “guidance” and are polarising the workplace into for and against; approve and disapprove; yes and no; right and wrong; better and worse; them and us.

There are lies, and rumours, and unnecessary emotions. Oh yes, don’t forget those! The manipulator about to be exposed, the politician about to lose their grip on power, will not take it lightly. There WILL be a reaction, a crisis, an accusation, a complaint, of sorts. A distraction to focus and divert attention away. People will be turned against each other. They might even use company processes and procedures to stack the deck in their favour – a personal grievance, a preemptive strike if you will.

And usually it will be directed at the person who is a threat to that secret power base. The poor soul may not even know it, but even if they did, a simple defence of denial would be of no use. And the person who is under threat, whose power base is being eroded, will be hardly, if at all, visible. The rumours will have no attributable source; the information vague. The memories uncertain. Some other poor colleague might be placed in the spotlight and urged quietly to bring a grievance to muddy up the waters…

What is the defence to this extremely toxic strategy? I believe the pre-existing sincerity of the individual attacked is of primary significance. But not a quiet sincerity that cannot be verified by others. People should not say, on hearing an accusation “Wow, So-and-so? I never would have though that.”

We are talking the kind of sincerity that makes others go “So-and-so? Ha! Not. A. Chance.”

What builds this kind of sincerity and this kind of a reputation? This has many answers, some of which will be expanded on in a later post or two. But let’s tick off a quick list here to whet your appetites:

  • Someone who is not judgmental or blaming of others
  • Someone who gets things done, on time, all the time.
  • Someone who does not react emotionally, always responds with thought and balance.
  • Someone who never says bad things about another employee (Compliments in Public, challenges in private)
  • Someone who is kind and genuine.
  • Someone who gives credit away, and builds the success of others
  • Someone who has built a reputation for integrity

Basically, a positive politician.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that” (Martin Luther King Jr)

There is a Dragon called Politics, and he cannot be driven out by more politics. Only sincerity can do that.

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The Dragon called “Solo” and the Cloak of Cameraderie

Posted on January 28, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

Every sportsperson knows that beyond the weekend hacker level, no matter how solo your sport “looks”, there is a team seeing you through to victory. My favourite sport is tennis, and within that, singles. It’s like a chess game, played both mentally and physically. Beyond the supreme physicality and skill of the game itself, there is the intensity of a full-blown campaign in every tournament.

The players are in the spotlight for between 2 and 5 hours as exquisite solo practitioners of their art, and they win or lose on their own two legs in the arena. Their execution of strategy, and adapting to their opponents. Their fitness, their resilience and their mental fortitude. But when they arrive on court, they leave in the shadows a vast army of team members. Team members whose sole challenge it is to both prepare the athlete for their coming challenge, and, afterwards, to undo the physical damage of the last one. Nutritionists, physiotherapists, coaches, trainers, bio-kineticists, are all there, working magic behind the scenes. And we are in awe of the athlete, match after match and then especially when he or she stands victorious.

Could any of them achieve even 50%, 30%, maybe even 10% of what they do, without those key practitioners working their magic behind the scenes? Probably not. Singles it may be on the court, but it is not singles off the court.

There is a Dragon called “Solo” and he is beaten by the protagonist wearing the Cloak of Cameraderie.

Cameraderie is the sense of brotherhood and sisterhood forged through shared trial. In the military, I did something in training to be an officer, called “Vasbyt” which is loosely translated as “Endure”, or “Hold on tight”. A 150km route march over 3 days, with full pack and rifles, carrying telegraph poles and anything else our corporal could think of for us to carry. Tyres, rocks, each other. You name it. We learned, in no uncertain terms, that you do it together, or you fail. When that finished, the 20 or so of us in our platoon looked at each other, standing in a circle on that dusty field with rubbery legs, arm in arm, and we were comrades. We had carried each other, and each other’s packs and weapons, for 150kms, and we had got there together. There is no feeling like it.

We HR Practitioners share a strange existence, in that many of us are solo practitioners or are alone at our level in an organisation. We do a lot, alone. And that is the way of things, but it has risks. There are things we can easily do alone, and other things, that owing to their nature, are better done in consultation with others. And when we are ourselves embroiled in a matter, there is no better safeguard than another person in our corner with an eye for detail.

This is primarily for two reasons – perspective, and protection. As much as we think we are seeing things correctly, we need to acknowledge that we are subjective beings with perceptive flaws. Tests have shown that two people standing next to each other can see the same traffic accident, from the same angle, and still report wildly different versions of what happened. Corporately we can experience the same cognitive disparity as a result of our preconceptions, our expectations, and our loyalties. And when we are assessing or navigating some issue that our own credibility depends on, perhaps even our job, we would be wise to acknowledge that we may not be seeing things accurately.

There is a saying in legal circles “An attorney who represents himself has a fool for a client”. It is regarded as stupid, in the extreme, to attempt to be your own advocate in a court of law, because the stakes are so high for us personally that we are incapable of rational, objective and analytical thought. Emotions run too high, and the self-preservation instinct runs too deep, to be good at that kind of conflict. There is no good reason to think it should be different elsewhere.

So having another perspective assists is to keep things clear and to correctly discern the real issues without getting sidetracked by subjectivity.

Secondly, having an independent person who knows what is going on, especially where issues are challenging or controversial, is a very sound backup strategy which can in a crunch, provide perspective in advance and then afterwards, strong support for how and why something was handled in a particular way. That second perspective helps us plan better, analyse better, predict better and execute better. it also helps us moderate better and choose wiser words, helping us enter into and manage conflict in a way which keeps the doors open for reconciliation afterwards.

Accountability is tough for the person relied on – make sure they are willing and able to shoulder the load.

An important rider here: Cameraderie is about strength, encouragement, wisdom and perspective. It is a good thing, even, for some, a sacred and honourable thing. Cameraderie is not, repeat NOT, about stirring up issues, spreading gossip, undermining another person’s standing, sowing discord or distrust, seeking out slander or politicking ones way through a problem. Absolutely, absoLUTEly not.

These behaviours are evidence of a sick, sick culture within an office, and as HR practitioners, even with our own careers on the line, we should be distancing ourselves as much as possible from such destructive behaviours. If they are being used against us, I believe with all my heart we have what we need. I have discussed three of them already – The Sword of Knowledge, the Shield of Slightly Cynical Wisdom, and now the Cloak of Cameraderie. But there are more.

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The Dragon called “Naiveté” and The Shield of Slightly Cynical Wisdom

Posted on January 27, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

Many HR discussions that take place do so where the stakes are high, and at the same time they take place when privacy is an important concern. The stakes are usually high for the employee involved, and less so for the HR practitioner and the privacy concerns are also more for the employee concerned and less for the HR practitioner.

An example: Employee A is underperforming and Manager B and HR Practitioner C need to address it. The real issue here is between A and B, and C is merely facilitating an outcome that is fair and equitable. The same can be in a redundancy situation where HR Practitioner C is dealing with many affected employees on behalf of the organisation.

These situations are instinctively not simple or “feel-good” environments. They are fraught with challenges and we HR practitioners are also human. Difficult situations are also hard for us, and except for the sociopathic few, we are prone to seeking out a way for the difficult process to feel good for us firstly, and the employee second. Nobody wants to watch an employee writhe in discomfort or embarrassment, or break down in fear or tears. It feels voyeuristic and cruel. It is an entirely natural tendency, but this can be a danger both for us and for the organisation. The real danger is when we don’t realise this and we don’t deliberately compensate for it.

How do we try and make lives better for ourselves and others in a way that is risky? Some ideas:

  • We “agree with” when we should merely “empathise with”
  • To reduce harshness, we decrease the level of formality when we should maintain formality
  • We generalise instead of being specific
  • We tell half-truths or avoid the stark realities

There is a danger in doing these entirely understandable things, that we set ourselves or the organisation up for exposure to unnecessary risk. Say for example, in dealing with non-performance, I were to gloss over the severity or the negative consequences felt by the rest of the team, or to avoid talking about the danger of being terminated if matters were not properly rectified? Quite simply, the employee would be empowered to argue that I had not clarified properly the severity and that the next (more serious) level of intervention was therefore illegitimate and unjustified. And they would be right.

Eventually, we would have an employee who is severely underperforming and compromising an entire team’s delivery and culture, and they are bulletproof because we failed to address issues clearly when we should have. The work environment is getting toxic and resentful as others carry their load AND a bit more, and productivity and culture suffer critical damage.

A simple ER rule: In any ER situation, there is only one suit of armour. It is called proper process. Only one person can wear it and the employer gets to choose. If the employer follows good process and applies the principles fairly and consistently, they get to wear the armour. If they do not, the employee automatically wears the armour.

As much as possible, all matters need to be communicated and managed in private, to prevent unnecessary embarrassment and hurt. But they are also high stakes conversations as discussed before.

This can backfire, as happened recently after a private – and employee initiated – coaching and counselling conversation, when recollections of the conversations began to vastly “differ” and an attempt was made to undermine my intentions and portray my comments in a compromising light… It is challenging, and needs to be thought about very carefully. Requiring witnesses can cause instant suspicion and distrust of motives. Recording devices likewise. But a lack of some kind of evidence can be held against one just as easily… contemporaneous notes are good, but not infallible. A challenge!

But in a “he said, she said” situation (created by no witnesses and no records), how would anyone decide what was really said? Put another way, where is the protection for the employer, and for us as the employers representative in such a scenario?

The solution lies, as hinted at above, in having witnesses and creating a record.

Here is my method, and trust me, it works. It has worked recently.

  • Work with the manager to ensure there is a common understanding of what is needed and how you are going to go about it. (If we are the manager involved, then get a senior colleague to be a sounding board. They will be a witness later to your preparation, the reasons for your actions, and your legitimate intent)
  • Prepare draft correspondence for approval by line management, and if you are the involved manager, test it for objectivity, accuracy and kindness (yes, I said kindness) by someone else.

(At this stage you have a credible, consultative approach with witnesses, showing what you are intending to achieve and able to testify to motive, rationale, etc. You have also checked your planning and the style of your approach)

  • Follow process to the letter with meeting requests and explanation of rights, time periods for feedback, preparation of responses etc
  • Have a witness present. If they have a representative, you are outnumbered and if their story is different to yours, you will be on the back foot for credibility.
  • Take notes, and if acceptable, and agreed, record the discussions. Preferably both parties should record it independently, because things can easily be edited nowadays.
  • Summarise the discussion in an email afterwards. Say that they must revert with any changes or your email will stand as the agreed record of the discussion and its outcomes.

A note about Notes

Take good notes and keep a detailed record of things. Not just dates, attendees and facts, either. And especially not just the things that suit our own preferred version! Contemporary personal notes that demonstrate an understanding of and empathy for the other side’s perspectives, are powerful evidence of integrity and balance. Tones, expressions, motives, everything can be valuable in assessing and interpreting situations and creating effective strategies.

Our success often depends on our insight, and our failure is often caused by our lack of it. However, insight is just opinion, and opinions can be challenged. The perceptions and impressions we had at the time can easily be forgotten and lost – but not if we made notes. Contemporaneous and balanced notes can reliably transform a mere opinion into an informed and trustworthy insight.

Do my thoughts feel a bit like I am jaded and cynical? If so, rest assured I am not, but if you think that, then I can rest assured that I am well prepared for how things might go wrong. And that is effectively what we are preparing for in any confrontation of any sort. Nobody needs any protection or a back-up plan for when things go smoothly and according to plan. But honestly, how often does that really happen? And what would the consequences be if things blew up in our faces?

We are responsible to manage risk on behalf of a company. Not to create risk. That means, unfortunately, that we need to approach difficult situations with an eye for what can go wrong, and to prepare for that eventuality. Without losing a genuine sense of grace, and kindness, in our approach.

The Dragon is Innocence, or Naiveté, or simply being too nice or too trusting. And the weapon that prevents this being used against us is the Shield of Slightly Cynical Wisdom.

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The Dragon called “Average” and the Sword of Knowledge

Posted on January 23, 2015 by Vaughan Granier

Although his life and achievements are discredited professionally, there is no doubt in my mind that Lance Armstrong remains one of the most dedicated, hardworking athletes this world has ever seen. While the use of drugs taints his every memory now, some things he did remain as outstanding examples of dedication to his craft. One of his comments from “It’s Not About The Bike” sticks with me. He said – and I am extensively paraphrasing – “An athlete gains his race confidence from having done it already in training”. He said there was no hill he raced that he had not already climbed harder in training. No section of the course he had not ridden tens of times before the actual race.

This is an incredible principle of preparation.

We are more often than most in highly contentious situations where we are responsible as advisors or facilitators, for the outcomes. These situations can be highly contentious, and unique, requiring someone – us – to predict, interpret and analyse and compare against precedent and law so that accurate advice can be given and dangers avoided. But it’s not an everyday thing so we need to keep sharp on the disciplines that need to apply to such situations.

We are the guide for the organisation. They trust our training, our expertise and our instincts in what for other kinds of professionals, can be a very grey area – Employee Relations. Managers become managers through technical or administrative excellence, more than through ER skills, and they look to us to handle the complexity of those areas.

Our excellence is therefore key. Average, any manager can do. And most managers, with a good amount of experience, can easily reach “competent” levels of HR knowledge. And if we are ok with average, most managers will then be as good as us. I ask then, what value do we add? If any manager can answer an HR or ER question as well as we can, then we are failing our employers. End of story.

The Dragon’s name is Average.

Perhaps we don’t know the legal and policy framework around our field of expertise as well as we should, and then when a situation arises that requires excellence, we can only produce average. Most times, we get away with it. But the reputation builders, the memorable moments, are not those “most times”. And if we assume that we know, or presume a lack of complexity where we simply lack the professional insight, we will fail when we are most needed.

The weapon that defeats this Dragon is knowledge, pure and simple. A list is probably the easiest way to set it all out, so here goes. But before I do, let’s not assume that simply doing the basics is enough. The difference between good and great is small in terms of output, but the effort required to make that transition is disproportionately large. Excellence is for the passionate, the determined and the exceptional. Average Joes, do not read on unless deep down you are in significant danger of becoming excellent.

  • Knowing the law in our area of expertise. All of it.
  • Knowing company policy, procedure and process intimately. Every detail. Be so good the auditors don’t stand a chance of catching you out.
  • Know the personalities involved. People are not blank templates. They have hopes and dreams, fears and challenges. They have personal lives that are intertwined with work. They have sick relatives and children etc. If we are going to do our work well, then although we cannot know all of this in advance, we can be better at reading situations than others, and provide empathic guidance and wisdom that humanises our legal and procedural excellence. My best results have always come when I have seen and reached through the rules and regulations to the person in need on the other side of the table.
  • Know the politics and the power relationships. More on that later.
  • Know yourself. Be very self-aware. We need to know and be able to compensate for, our own tendencies – coping mechanisms, fears, insecurities, so that we are providing objective, balanced advice. This is never as important as when we ourselves are also a participant in the matter. This single factor alone could make us the most trusted person in the organisation, or the least. Are we dragged by the heels kicking and screaming into belated self-awareness, or do we know ourselves already?
  • Know the leading thought and philosophies. Read blogs (there are many way better than mine, so don’t hang around here longer than you have to). Subscribe to services like Switch and Shift, Inc.com, Michael Hyatt, Seth Godin, Leadership Freak, Jeremy Scrivens, TomorrowToday and many others. Follow them on Twitter, Facebook and on their blogs. Get passionate about the soft skills and thinking around HR and leadership.
  • Be at least competent in your organisations area of expertise. Be able to hold a meaningful conversation about the same topic, around the same table as your leadership team. Want credibility and instant rapport with your team? That is how.

Where the stakes are high and our role is controversial owing to many of the factors mentioned for example in my first post “Here Be Dragons”, the confidence of understanding the issues and of being ale to process so many variables objectively will be our seaworthy vessel in the storm.

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