I have learned that my wife’s trust is a thing never deserved but graciously given. And it must be nurtured like a fragile flower or it retreats to safety.

I learned that creating a new normal for us was hard, and that it takes everything we have to let go of our pasts.

I learned that expectations are a recipe for disappointment. And yet they are also a call to excellence. They are to be held lightly but pursued vigorously.

I learned that failure is a constant, if we expect perfection. And that it is unimportant, if we are grateful for what we have.

I learned that I can speak another love language if I just try. And I can receive in that love language even though it is not my own.

I learned that I need a hobby. It can’t all be about the relationship and us and the kids. Me time is also important. It balances me out again and refreshes my soul.

I learned that I am not so good at keeping promises. But I can change.

I learned that happiness is internal and one person cannot ever give it to another. It’s a choice that anyone can make.

I learned that conflict is normal, and inevitable, and a blind pursuit of peace at all costs gets me nowhere. But if we do it right, it creates harmony… which is better than peace.

I learned that little words can carry great hopes and that it’s my job to always listen carefully. Not hearing what is being said can cause deep hurt.

I learned that I have insecurities too, and that I am often blind to them. And my wife is not…

I learned that goodness and happiness will find me, if I give myself away in service and in love.

I learned that I am neither awesome nor amazing. And yet, my wife is convinced that I am both.

I learned that getting enough sleep is very very important and waking up constantly tired can hurt a marriage.

I learned that being grateful unlocks great contentment.

I learned that frustration is the enemy of intimacy.

I learned that laying down my life Actually. Means. Exactly. That. And that I don’t like it. But it’s still the best thing I ever did.

I learned that I struggle to receive gifts, especially the gift of forgiveness.

I learned that giving myself away every day in service of something higher and bigger than me is exactly what life is all about.

I learned that once we get rid of the lie that perfection is possible, the only thing that really matters is persistence.